God, Kate. This is so unfair and overwhelming and all my love and support and thoughts and those of everyone I know and even people who don't know you are pouring towards you, you have to remember that. I can't imagine what this is like for you and if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times and I'll keep saying it for as long as need-be, I love you and I'll always be there for you, no matter what you want or need, I'll be there. Remember that.
Hugs from all the family to all of your's and hang tough Kate. We're all behind you whenever wherever.
And yes, I am putting this up on my blog for everyone to read. Put something like this up on all your blogs. The media needs to know that we're all behind Kate and they should put these kinds of things on the front page, not a personal message sent from her sister to her, posted for her friends to read. Fucking media.
That's all, I have to go to bed. I can't handle being awake, it's too stressful and tiresome. I'm not looking forward to my Math test or my Spanish test or my seminar in English. I can't handle it. My anger and grief and frustration ebbs and flows, resurfacing every now and then and this is one of those times. I can't be strong for anyone right now, I'm letting things pour out again. I have to get them out for all of you to see.
Every time I have to tell someone or explain it further or see Nich's face or read her name it becomes more and more real and harder and harder. I'm less emotional compared to yesterday but still... I can't imagine what it's like for you and your family to see her over and over. Like a stabbing pain over and over. I'm so, so sorry.
I have to make it clear that I never really met Nich. I saw her once down the hall in Grade 8 at Branton one day Kate and I had been working late in the library for debate. But I read her letters Kate sent and saw her photos from Afghanistan and she reminds me so much of Kate and I feel like even though I never met her I knew her. It's hard to explain but it's true.
I'm going to bed, all my love and sorrow and grief and all possible happiness that I can send to you all to make this easier.
Good-night all,
Michael.
2 comments:
You say what i want to say.It makes me sick to think about how you even start to deal with that. I understand what you mean when you say that even though you never met her, you felt like you knew her. After i read that letter last month, i told my mum exactly that. I said that i thought she sounded like a realy interesting person and someone that i would like to meet. and now, what can be said, what can be done? The cliches run through my head, but they're nowhere near enough.
:)
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