Wednesday:
Gee and I went out with Kate to shop for her, shoes and a fancy top, out Market Mall and it was good fun. We talked and walked around and scrutinized the unbarable amount of shoes and tops. And Kate finally bought her shirt and cami then we went to CinneZone as a reward then we went back to the shoe store again because the bloody technology wouldn't work there, so Kate used her VISA.
Grad on Wednesday was so much fun. Kelci and Caitlin and I danced and the food was spectacular and Kelci and I had a good talk with Amlake. Then we all went over to Amy's and we played pool and talked and ate and about three Thursday morning Caitlin and Thomas and I left Amy's in a cab.

Thursday:
I went to bed at four. I was awoken at seven. I listened to a lot of music throughout the day. I went to the McInnis and Holloway funeral home in Crowfoot with Georgeanne. We met up with Kate and her cousins and fawned over the white SUV stretch limo. I went to Georgeanne's house after we spent our time with Kate and her family and we watched Josie and the Pussycats and played her "call out every brand name you see" game. Georgeanne's dad was incredible and drove me home in the driving rain.

Friday:
I got up around ten to eight and had my shower and had breakfast then got all dressed up. And I was a tie perfectionist. I had my tie fairly good but I managed to screw it up over and over because I needed to have it perfect. I tied it over and over, at least twelve or more times, twenty was the general figure today, in the car, in the bathroom in front of the mirror.
It was raining and I was glad to have my umbrella.
We were in the seventh row. I cried during the memorial video between ten thirty and eleven, not the whole time but whole body sobs and shakes. Jay and Tim were so composed and funny in spite of their overwhelming grief.
After the service when we were moving slowly towards the parking lot, we watched as Nich was moved out down the street and her coffin moving from the shoulders of her pallbearers to the artillery carriage to the white hearse. I was nearly at the entrance of the parking lot for the community center and I saw Anneliese standing by herself. And I walked towards her and I hugged her and she cried and I let her. We stood there together in the rain, my umbrella shielding us from it, and shortly after I moved towards her, a soldier with numerous medals on his chest checked to see we were alright and told Anneliese that it was the time to mourn. And we did. We drove her home.
We drove to the University for the reception where so many people were. Dad and Mum and I led some of the military people from the parking compound to Mac Hall. When we got there, I ran up the stairs to catch up with Georgeanne and Caitlin and Kelci and Lisa and Amlake. After some searching we found Kate and we barged into her biathalon friends' circle and took her over to get food. God I love Kate and Tim and Sally and everybody. We sat with Kate and talked about things with her.
Then nearly all of us, Kelci, Amlake, Lisa, Georgeanne, Caitlin, we all went to The House, driven by Mr Blue.
Then we went to Georgeanne's house, Caitlin and Amlake and I, and ate Gee's mum's amazing peanut butter cookies and talked and listened and bounced to music and played Twister.
When I was boring and wouldn't let Gee and Caitlin make my already product-filled hair into a faux-hawk, Gee evicted us and again Mr Blue drove Caitin home then me and Amlake here. We watched tv and chatted about the memorial and a good while later had supper.
Right near the end of dinner, my aunt Susan called, saying she'd been thinking of me all day. We talked about everything that has happened and how I'm a blogger and I write journals. This blog is for you all and for me, but my journals are a recapitulation of my day according to me for my eyes only. It's a good thing, to keep these seperate. To be true to you all but keep some things to myself but to see them on paper can get them out of my head or make me rethink them as the ink swirls onto the page. I enjoyed our conversation, I really did.
I waited at the bus stop with Amlake until her bus came around ten thirty.
I can back to the house and went upstairs and talked about things. I showed Mum the slideshow of what were the photos in the photobucket account we all set up for Grad.
Please just put up the Stars photos Kelci.
Mum and Dad and I re-interpreted some of our favourite stories from the eulogies and crazy Fire and Brimstone guy who you'll hear about later on.
Now I have to go to bed and have a good cry I think.
And Candace and Grey's people, Oh MY god.
We need to talk about that.

Gee, if you read this, or people who are interested for that matter, call me if you're interested in coming down to the CBC book sale at the CBC building tomorrow afternoon.
I can't wait to have nothing to worry about. I miss when I had nothing to worry about. Last year was so much simpler. Fewer things to worry about, I didn't feel as behind, I didn't feel as sad, I didn't... But I do now. And over the last year I've grown and admitted things to people and started working so many things out and lost my grandmother and we just lost Nich and things have gotten hard this year. I feel overwhelmed, even when I'm caught up I just can't bring myself to be caught up without being completely caught up.

So. I'll actually go now after that gush.

'Night all,
Me.